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  • Hope


"The looking again into the pain of the self as perceived by the self. There is an iterative and increasingly powerful effect of this inner watching that can sap already vulnerable energies, and deepen already substantial self doubt. This inner watch is I think, very typical of wanderers." - A Wanderer's Handbook written by Carla L. Rueckert

Self Doubt...

In this blog, we will be looking more deeply into the purely emotional

and often largely subconscious energies of our beings. There are layers to the basic experience of being a wanderer. There are rejections that push at us more deeply than those of childhood or family.

The bad opinion of our own selves. There is the murky, yet powerfully fertile subconscious emotive flow. The deeper, the darker...that surfaces in the emotional life. At this level it is really all about us. We are the main players on the stage of being, our own characters in the personal myths we create of our lives. This is the area where pride comes fully into bloom, as the antithesis of and last defense before humility, and the truth of the self. This is also the locus of self doubt and insecurity..... that deep sink hole that remains unhealed while we get our surface behavior shaped up to fit within the cultural preferences we choose to honor.

Self doubt can be a crippling thing. Wanderers are easy prey for the emotional binds of self doubt and insecurity, considering much of the response we get from more normal people is sometimes unkind or hostile. People with feelings of insecurities can express this by straight forwardly expressing fears about the self or alternately, by becoming seemingly sure of the self and being overbearing. In either case the neurosis involved is insecurity about the worth of the self.

Certainly, it can be said that this is not only true for wanderers, but for all sorts of people.

However, the sensitivity of the wanderer is such that, all problems seem to hit harder, and do more damage, because this level of emotional pain is not immediately obvious from surface behavior, what I have found is, it can go very wrong, and very deeply so...resulting in challenges such as psychic greetings or as some say, bad luck. The normal people of this world being genuinely untroubled by metaphysically oriented point of view, simply are not experiencing the pain of self doubt with the same resistance and intensity.

Questions you may be asking:
Why is there such a battle going on within myself?
How can I say the right things to others, and yet stay in such a state of confusion for myself?

One of the hardest and most unpleasant things I have been doing the last 3 years is getting to remember who I really am. This is at times most unpleasant and very much hard work.

My husband was afraid, my children were afraid, even our dog. I saw why too. To learn to trust yourself, your soul, is a very large step when you've been raised your whole life to try and swallow this concept, to trust and believe in anyone and everyone, but yourself.

As a fellow wanderer, I must admit over the years, I have felt very much at risk and vulnerable in the outer world. I would mentally tell myself, I am safe, I am okay --- while my emotional self was screaming "NO, you are not. Help Me. You are not, NO, you are not!

This proves what I have been saying and resonating innately with the past few years. Logic and knowledge are not enough.

The heart is what gives life substance. If you rely on knowledge and logic only, you get a shell, and nothing more.

The only way I can see a way out of this is to work from my heart. To get the substance back and prove my emotional body.

Look - you are safe...really.

It is easy to feel like a failure in a world where the inner beauty and the love of the truth we possess is scorned. I think there is something truly lacking in this world NOW. I feel my life to have become too salty with tears of sorrow. Oh, how I wish to create love and peace. Where is the peace I so sincerely want for life?

It is easy to feel that one cannot be of service, since one is so muddled sometimes. I guess the idea of me thinking I can truly help humanity may seem silly to some, but if you could only see inside my head... for a day. I too get confused, scared, angry and all the others. This idea of me serving others sounds foolish, like the blind leading the blind. It even scares me to be open to others means that one is vulnerable to them. That scares me, along with the idea of making mistakes. With all this going on, all a person has to say is, I need to talk and all that fear is gone. I am so willing to go all in and continue searching for truth and wisdom. There is a part of me that will not allow myself to sit by and watch humanity continue to suffer.

The plight is difficult, but we got this.

Until next time my friends....

The Law of One
Is our universe intelligently designed? What are the possibilities of healing, transformation, and service? What is the Law of One? After 19 years of research into the channeling phenomenon that involved communications with members of the Confederation of Planets in the Service of the One Infinite Creator, a group consciousness called Ra, who had evolved on the planet Venus, established contact with three dedicated seekers of truth to explore these and other questions. Ra said that all people and all of creation are One Being: the One Infinite Creator. They suggested that the process of learning to love (awakening to the “Original Thought”) is studied via humanity’s movement through all of time. The Ra Material sessions conducted by these three individuals examine the meaning of our cosmic existence and contain 106 transcripts of every conversation, including events leading up to first contact, and, in Book V, commentary about the contact.
The transcripts in these books were originally produced in the 1980s concurrent with the Ra contact sessions. In 2018, after a years-long project of relistening to the recordings and refining the text, new transcripts were produced and released as The Ra Contact: Teaching the Law of One.


had the opportunity to deal with

The next big step is to find the OTHERS. Those whereas synchronicities are seen and used as catalysts. Discovering new ways to think, reverberate, and become your very best self.

Please share your thoughts in the comments below.


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